| Category | Rating |
|---|
| Pay | -3 |
| Respect | -4 |
| Benefits | -4 |
| Job Security | -5 |
| Work/Life Balance | -5 |
| Career Potential/Growth | -5 |
| Location | 1 |
| Co-worker Competence | -5 |
| Work Environment | -5 |
I am a college student and I started this job with high expectations as being a good part time job that i could "check my brain at the door and lift lumber all day." While that is true for the most part, they failed to mention in my interviews about how literally retarded the management is. No - Not just the department managers (dont get me wrong they are all a complete burger short of a happy meal), but the idiotic people that they call the "upper managment" are a bunch of ingorant retards that have no idea how to handle problems or even deal with people. BUT what they do pride themselves on is having grotesque interoffice relations and unrivaled micromanaging skills and boy do they excel at that, i mean seriously it's like that scene in Office Space where Peter tells the Bob's that he has to answer to 5 boses. And the best part about Lowe's is, it's so frigging big that those 5 bosses have to call you on your departments phone to all ask you the same retarded questions.
If you ever have the pleasure of applying at the Lowe's located in Abilene (on Musgrave), I will give you some advice. Wait around the customer service desk and look for the person who looks the most like a used haggered prostitue with that big ol' michael strahan smile and ask her if you can apply, after you wipe the spit off your face from talking to her you will be face with 2 more interviews, and here is where i get's tricky. This could go 1 of 2 ways (depending on who is working one of the horrid schedule they come up with). If you get Michael you are in luck, this guy is the only person RELATIVELY worth a crap that works there, however he is shorter than my girlfriend and she is 5'2" and is covered in tribal tattoos, all looks aside he is a decent enough person that has seizures sporadically throughout the day (classy) so watch out he could be laying on an isle near you. Now for those of you who would not be this lucky, you will get to interview with the most idiotic person to ever walk this planet. His reasoning is about that of the american people when they cast their votes for Obama. Now don't be alarmed when he ask's you questions or makes statements, and then repeats himself adding emphasis on different words, or his overuse of the word BROTHER. (I.E. "Now BROTHER what are we working on?, NOW brother what are we working on?, now brother WHAT is it we are working on?") Poor guy probably never made it through grade school and is reliving his third grade lesson on what are subjects in sentences. Also if you have made it this far where you are being interviewed by this jackass be sure to tell him that you want to work in a zone far away from his.
Now, getting close to the end - you will meet the Loss Prevention guy - Dave. Dave is an ol' character now, Lowe's itself is so retarded that it actually hires people like dave to sit on their ass and watch video camera's ALL DAY LONG, Literally 9 friggin hours of watching people. So you will have a relationship with Dave whether you want to or are even are aware of it. Let me give you some advice, when dave actually takes the time to hobble from his secret office, or his lowriding Ford F-150 that smells like a tobacco factory, over to your department and decides to ask you questions from the mind numbing training you have to go through 6 months ago like, "What is the speed at which you are allowed to drive a forklift (as he breathes out smoke rings in your face)," or, "Why are u driving with your forks raised up?" The proper responses are not "I walk very very fast!, and "Because if i kill a customer i get to go home!" He will take your license away, almost immediatley and then you will get to hear Tom say, "Brother we CAN'T be driving that fast!, Brother we can't be DRIVING that fast!" (Almost like he doesn't even know he knows the difference between 1st and 3rd person. If you ever hear him say "WE". Interrupt his turkey gobbling self and say "Excuse me?!...WE were not driving too fast, you are implying you actually do something other than sit on your dumb ass all day.
Lastly there are Chris and Jeremy. I am going to lump these two together even though there is way more than enough meat on both of their bones to feed Jesus' 5000. Chris is the store manager with type 2 diabetes (self inflicted - in other words i have no sympathy) that literally does nothing all day except wear that lovely red vest that took an entire Popwarner football teams jerseys to sew together to construct. If you are asking off for christmas break like the 26th - 4th (9 Days is the Max u Can Take) he will let you come into his office and explain to him why Christmas doesn't count as a day off. And be thinking really really hard on this one because the excuse, "BECAUSE LOWE'S IS NOT OPEN ON CHRISTMAS" doesnt work. Jeremy is just as bad but more mobile than Chris so watch out, he is like a stealthy hippopotamus, he will literally walk around the whole store and believe me u can see him from a mile away . Until he comes to your department, i think he has an invisibility cloak. He will literally call u every time he sees a customer not being assisted and the excuse, "Jeremy I am literally the only one here because ure retarded self scheduled me that way." is higly frowned upon.
So I certainly hope this review will help you in getting and maintaining a job at Lowe's, seeing as i am on my way out I will probably never see you. I will leave you a revolver with 1 bullet behind the 2x4 studs. You'll know what to do!